Hot Buttons is a book that
should be on everyone's bookshelf. This
book would help coworkers, family members, siblings, marriage partners, and
parents and children learn how to resolve conflict. The authors appear to believe that much conflict is the result of
people pressing each other's hot buttons.
Hot buttons are emotional triggers set
off by what people do and say to others.
Each person has his or her own set of hot buttons. Once the button is pushed, people tend to explode
in angry ways. This leads to everything
from road rage to divorce.
The book is filled with illustrations of
people pushing someone's hot button and the responses. It teaches people how to stand back, analyze
the situation, and find a new way of communicating the same information without
triggering a hot button in the other person.
After a thorough reading of this book, I feel it pinpoints the cause of
most interpersonal conflict.
The book includes the following
1. What's a Hot Button.
2. Hot Buttons Everywhere!
3. Hot buttons: Hazardous to Your Health!
4. What Pushes Your Buttons?
5. Hot Buttons and Intimacy.
6. Hot Buttons and the Family.
7. Hot Buttons and Children.
Hot Buttons and Friendship.
9. Hot Buttons and the Workplace.
10. The Magic of Your Mind.
Each person is sure to find at least one
chapter that helps them resolve ongoing conflict.
The book contains many examples of
conversations that illustrate how not to say things as well as how to say
certain things to each other in a way that doesn't trigger the other person's
hot button. Through reading the chapter
dealing with children, I realized that I was a hot button pushing mother. No wonder my son was so irritated with me
throughout his teenage years and even now that he is a young adult. It brought me up short and made me rethink
how I say some things to him. I expect
to turn to that chapter time and time again in the future as I watch him go
through life activities such as selecting a wife and raising his own children.
I give this book my highest
recommendation. Reading it may well
save you the expense of family counseling to resolve conflicts within the
family. Every manager should read this book to help resolve workplace conflict.
Reading this book could lead to a more peaceful existence for everyone.
© 2002 Diana Pederson
Diana Pederson lives
in Lansing, Michigan.