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Book Review - Sex and Spirit
Sex and Spirit
by John Gray and John Selby
Simon & Schuster Audio, 2004
Review by David M. Wolf, M.A.
Aug 23rd 2005

The sub-title, "Discover and enjoy new realms of sexual intimacy and ecstasy... " truthfully announces the inter-active listening in this program. As with other work by John Gray (Men Are From Mars...) and John Selby on CD, this one aims less to impart information than to open avenues of experience. It's not for your head--it's for practice.

The mode of presentation is for a select audience, very definitely not for everybody. Who? It's aimed at those with an active love life who need to slow down, calm the fears and agitations of busy lives, and reach into the heart of experience for deeper awareness of intimate love and passion. Women, more than many straight men, will find this presentation appropriate, flowing, helpful, supportive.

The content is somewhat thin, measured against most sex books/tapes out there, so a dubious comparison should be resisted (and I am). This work is not about content--information--so much as taking a few essential principles that encourage sexual feeling and reaching imaginary spaces in which learning encounters can occur. This is self-help made somewhat hypnotic; it's light trance-work guided toward opening the listeners' understanding.

This material is not oriented toward masturbation, for the most part; the guide's voice would get much in the way. So, following that voice--mostly John Selby--means only moving to those steps of memory, imagination, experience or re-experience that he invites, one step at a time. The pace is slow to this (male) listener, so it might be just about right for many women.

The second CD in the set is music--easy, flowing, dreamy for the most part. Presumably, it will allow the reveries that the guided sessions do not. Indeed, it sounds better in the dark.

Is this CD set worth having and who should buy it? It's certainly helpful and useful to anyone who has already decided to seek something to improve her or his sexual experience, particularly if the problems appear to be about intimacy. Such listeners have nothing to lose and a whole world to gain. Give it a try.


2005 David Wolf


David M. Wolf is the author of Philosophy That Works, a book about the practice of philosophy. His book page for orders (hardback & paperback) is ; readers can also see the first chapter there.